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Friday, April 24, 2020

[Doctor Who Review] 12-10 Timeless Child

The season finale... The moment when we expect to learn a lot of new things and tie together the odd threads of the season.

So... The Master returns. And the Cybermen. And Rusty. And the forgettable NPCs. And the massive crew of companions. And this old guy they met at the end of the previous episode.

I expected this old guy to have an interesting story or tweak, or plot hook that would change the situation and surprise the Doctor in some way. Something that would make you go hmm with the reveal they were heading to Gallifrey... But as usual this season, no. Forgettable, useless, meaningless people. I care more about the red shirt who died in that episode of Original Star Trek than any of them.

No... I like the companions. I'd like 'em more if they were not always there all at the same time. These guys are cool.

This episode was just the worse of all. All the good will the series gained in the previous episode turned stupid within the first five minutes. The Doctor forcing the mobs of NPCs to stay behind and face the Cybermen "because".

The Master killed all the Time Lords and destroyed Gallifrey. (Wow! WTF!)

Then the Cyberlords idea was just stupid. (eye roll)

Then the "death particle" idea was telegraphed, stupid, and just plain unimaginative. (eyes blinked, then closed.)

And the re-imagination of the Timelord history was terrible. This "Doctor is immortal" and "the Time Lords all descend from Doctor DNA" made me say out loud "BOVINE SCATOLOGY! WHAT A LOAD OF CROCK" of course, with more French Canadian color wherein most of what can be seen in a church was named. Repeatedly. Julie even said "If it is that stupid, why are you still watching?" (this made me angry)

But the biggest eye roll was when the unnamed NPC came in at the last minute and sacrificed himself for the Doctor. Convenient. Unimaginative and o-so boring. (Colorful French Canadian curses thrown at the TV)

I thought that guy may be some forgotten time lord or something. Nope, just another red shirt NPC there to save the Doctor. Her sacrifice was the one thing I thought would'a made sense. But no... Again, cheapening anything with meaning, like the gay astronaut's husband's sacrifice. Cheap.

I expected the Doctor to be ready to die and have Jack Harkness show up and save her against her will. That would have been something to make my eyes open, sit at the edge of my seat and go "Woah, what just happen?" But like almost every time this season, the answer is no.

Then right at the end when all the crew returns to Earth and the Doctor is alone in the Tardis, the Judoon appear. IN THE TARDIS and take her away to a jail cell "somewhere". Now that is just crap and stupid. The Tardis should be inviolable, not breachable by random, minor aliens.

Still putting the Doctor in jail made me smile. "Maybe she's gone and we can have a good Doctor," I thought wishfully. But I am wrong, she'll be back.

So for the rating. This was full of stupid from start to finish. Not only the stupid but the wasted opportunity. And if I did not commit to writing a review for each episode, I would NOT have written this one. 1/5. I'm not re-watching this again.

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