[Kinda Book Report] Elminster in Myth Drannor by Ed Greenwood

Ed Greenwood is a giant in the world of D&D. as the creator of the massively-successful Forgotten Realms. His slate of adventures for TSR are a mixed bag, but most are good enough. I had never been exposed to his fiction before (I am not a big fan of D&D litterature).

This book did not endear me to either.

Things happen randomly and the plot armor reaches deific level. Litterally. Most of the book is complete, boring filler as he goes around from one random event to another, meeting random NPCs. And their events are best described as "the GM rolls random shit and you see it."

- The names.... the long, unpronounceable name
- The many, many, many characters whose importance is dubious
- Exactly what happens in parts is difficult
- Elminster changes sex (and back) for no reason
- NPCs get major introduction then get kill off then come back to life only to die(?) again.
- The Epilogue is where the important and interesting event happens, even if what is happening is not fully clear.
- But then we are introduced to NPCs we never heard from before (or after).

Now... I would have dropped this book one third of the way in. BUT it did something that I found I could apply to my own current novel, the sequel to One Hundred Daughters. The characters introduced to be disposed of later. In my own book, I use this to expand and present elements the main characters would not know, yet provide the reader with the information to better understand the situation.

The funniest part of this was that my wife kept telling me to "Stop reading it if you don't like it" every night when I picked it up to read a few pages.

[Xmas Gifts] Pumpkin Monster Redux 2010

In this post dating back to Halloweend 2010, my daughter found herself a model that I painted for her. This model survived no less than 15 years, four and a half moves. By then, it was pretty chipped and worn.

She asked me for a refresher job on it, which I was quite pleased to do. The new paint job is darker and more atmospheric. I also added much more depth to it.

BTW, Shout-out to the Gang from Gamers' Haven in CO. I haven't forgotten about you guys.

[Kinda Book Review] The Blacktongue Thief by Christopher Buehlman

I did not finish this one. I hated it.

My head spun from the most minute and insignificant of details, and the constant thief-jargon. It was not a fun experience to read.

I found myself constantly reading back to try and make sense of what I was reading. Needless to say, I did not like this book and when I put it down, I felt light and joyful.

I was looking forward to this one, after really enjoying Between Two Fires, I expected to like this one too.

Nope. 1/5. Not worth using as toilet paper.

[Commission] Warforge Alchemist

The second commission for Ron.

I believe this is the first time I painted a warforged... I just never use them in my games, so I never had any reason to paint one.

Again, he gave me pretty simple instructions. "Go with a blue scheme" was all he said.

At first, I thought about making him of blue-tinted metal... But quick tests did not make it look good. I wanted a subtle blue but it didn't work out. Came out too blue.

So instead, I chose to make the wrapping a deeper shape of blue and the body more dirty steel metallic. The result is that the brown leather really pops against the metal and the blue draws the eye.

For the base, I painted a broken lantern and a skull that were there, peeking out of the grass, leading to the question: what happened to their owner? Maybe I'm just too entertained, but I amused myself by the story they told.

One funny thing is that the model had a support line that connected directly into the warforged's mouth. I left it there and painted it as a cigar, and extra accent.

[Commission] Goblin Alchemist

I received this commission by my friend Ron at the Sunday D&D game.

His demand were simple: make it look good. He sent me a palette that was simple. I got the impression that his character was a type of back-alley alchemist or potion reseller. Whatever the case, buying something from him should make you wonder exactly what you got until you drink it.

And even then...

The most interesting aspect, as a painter was originally the many potions... they are so small but I wanted them to be different colors to showcase a variety of products...

Something that's hard to see are the plaids I painted on his pants. They really look good.

The cloak has two tone: A hood section mostly red and a dark brown bottom section. I like the mix of the two as it breaks the big blob of brown.

[Kinda Book Report] Rat Queen Vol1 Sass and Sorcery

I have been distantly involved with the folks at Lurking Fears who produce some really good gaming stuff, particularly with Call of Cthulhu. Recently, I saw a post from them asking for volunteers to play a streamed game of Rat Queens, with the PCs taking on the roles of the titular Queens.

Therefore, reading the first trade paperback was required for the game. It's been a long time since I did something with required reading. In fact, I think it was an interview... I did not get that job (thank God!)

So on to the story. The Rat Queens are one of many adventuring/ mercenary parties in the town of Palisade and well... like most young people with a lot of money and not much to spend it on, they get drunk, fight each other, and cause a lot of damage.

Yep, they are pretty much the typical D&D party. They talk trash. Curse. Sex. A lot. Then booze. And drugs. In short, they are the stereotypical 20-something college crowd with money and power!

Now the good points: I like the four Queens. They each have their personalities and the conflicts generated by these personalities are interesting and really sells the whole piece. I've a feeling you could put these four into whatever situation/ adventure and they would play out with similar hilarious results.

The main villain of the piece is also efficient (though I've a feeling he will suddenly become completely incompetent so the Queens can prevent him from doing his nefarious deeds).

The art is topnotch and really effective. The writing is competent. The characters are good. The story has some interesting twists. The world has some consistency in a gaming sort of way.

So why do I not like this? Why do I get the feeling this book is "not for me." The in-your-face, over-the-top rowdiness turns me off. Now I don't "hate-hate" it... But I don't think I would read much more of it either.

So... what do I rate this? If you like this sort of thing, you may go as high as 4/5. But I can't go that high. I thought about giving it a 2/5 but there are a lot of things here that I liked that don't warrant that. So, I have to settle on 3/5 but with severe warnings. This has an MA rating (or should).

[Kinda Book Report] Sixteen Ways to Defend a Walled City

I picked up this book prior to a work trip to Florida earlier this year. I always prefer to have a physical book when I travel and unable to find one that tickled my fancy on Amazon, I went to my local Barnes & Nobles to pick up a book by its cover.

After much browsing, I settled on this one.

Why? Because it seemed like a one-off. I have endless series because it typically means the author has no idea where the story is going. Give me a start-middle-end where I can then decide to continue.

Without spoiling... the story is that of siege. Sieges make for interesting stories.

The story has its moments, with a devious main character out of his league trying to sell lies to a Constantinople-style city. Many of the inventions/ ideas he uses are reasonable. The cast around him are competent and interesting with diverse perspectives that each highlighting different areas of concern. The characters are a high point.

Where do I start with the issues with this book? No messages of any kind can leave the city unless the main character does it. It just felt like a D&D game. A 100,000+ army sits outside a city for months without attacking. Airtight naval blockade (okay, that one made sense). The time passing is unclear at best. The whiffs of racism are unequally applied, feeling tacked on and not addressed more than in random scenes.

The worse of it all: the epilogue. I was waffling between "this is cool" and "this isn't great" but that epilogue... Basically, it said "none of this really happened and it does not matter." Telling me the reader that this was a work of fiction IN THE FICTIONAL WORLD. That sold it.

When I put the book down, I was not interested in reading the first chapters of other books. I just left them and closed the book.

What would you rate it, JP? I hear you asking. I waffled between a 2/5 and a 3/5 throughout my reading. The epilogue brought it down to a clear 1.5/5, rounding it out to a 2/5. A weak 2.

[Kinda Book Review] Prince of Thorns by Mark Lawrence

I was wanting to read something non-comic and non-historical. I looked briefly through my daughter's YA collection but found nothing that drew my eye. So what did I do?

I headed to Amazon and tried to find something that could be interesting. The blurb sounded interesting so it made the way into my shopping cart.

The best way I can describe this book is the adventure of Gary Lou. Gary is the best at everything. He's only fourteen years old but leads a band of cutthroats and bandits. He is the most brutal and ruthless of them. He is the most learned and knowledgeable of them. He always knows where to go. He outsmarts everyone.

Gary Lou.

I got to laugh about it. Eventually, I started to guess how he would escape the traps and avoid the challenges. He just sucked.

There are a number of things that had a lot of potential in there, that could have been expanded and used to make it interesting.

First off, the setting has a lot of interesting things that were wasted by the presence of Gary.

- The story is set in a far-future where technology is now magic. There are strange AIs, insane computers, and a radioactivity mutating people.

- The cast around Gary is more interesting, but they are only present to show how good and awesome Gary is. I just cannot understand why all these grown men would just bow to this little bully killing them on a whim.

- The opponents seem to just wait for Gary to come before they do anything. They are always surprised because he shows up without them waiting for him.

So... What do I think about this book? It sucked. It was terrible and I could not wait to reach the end. Gary warrants a 1 but I was really interested in finding out more about the world and the cast. There is so much more to discover and explore there. And it seems FUN.

So ignoring Gary, I rated this book to a 2/5. However, I can easily say that I will NOT continue reading this series. I don't care how Gary will coast through the challenges.

Prediction: He wins.

[Kinda Book Report] Bloody Rose by Nicolas Eames

So way back when there was traveling in 2018 if I recall. I was on my way out of Nashville airport when I realized there were but a few pages left on my current book. So I headed to the airport bookstore-ish and began searching for something. I had a few selection criteria:
- Nothing in an obvious series.
- Something historical or fantasy

Bloody Rose filled both criteria. So I paid for it and was on my way. It took me three years to finish this book because I forgot it my computer bag. Moved. Then found it recently so I decided to finish it.

I could not get into this world because it just made no sense. Imagine adventurers forming bands and traveling like rock stars, fighting monsters in arenas for money in a world where the monsters are confined to a section of the world. Prescient races that can never be hit in combat. Tour managers. Bards who don't participate but tell the stories of arena fights.

Said like that, it doesn't sound too bad.

Then you add the predictable weak love side-plots. The never-ending cursing and swearing.

Although the characters in the band start off pretty interesting with flaws, hidden motives, and unique abilities. In the end, their challenges are dealt with rather simply and without any real challenge. The drug-addicted Rose just says no to her drug of choice and she wins! The haunted ink-witch releases the tattoos of her nightmare, passes out and WINS! The bard does not stay a bard. AND WINS! Inter-species racism is mentioned, but no NPC ever challenges anyone about the group traveling with "monsters"... WIN!

And my favorite. They show up in a town and everyone obey them because... reasons. WIN!

There clearly is the spark of something nice here, but any hard questions or working through anything is just skimmed over and eventually avoided.

I would be remiss no to mention the cover. That art style is odd but really does it for me. I am a big fan of it and it represent the main characters very well. The cover is a big win.

2/5 without batting an eye. A 1/5 would be too harsh because there is something there that could've been. The characters - as presented originally - are the highlight. But from there it just goes downhill.

CoS 2019-20: Arabelle the sneaky ADVENTURER!

Note This miniature that painted and given away in the summer of 2020. This post stayed on my draft-stash since.

This miniature represents Arabelle, the party's ally for the Curse of Strahd campaign. I know she is supposed to be 7, but I made her a little older - around 12. She became synonymous with her regular player - Sarah-R.

I painted her in a classic Adam West-era Batman color scheme, wielding light weapons.

Arabelle survived Curse of Strahd to become the Lady of Ravenloft. She did make a surprise plot-link when I ran its sequel, Curse of Strahd II (written by yours truly)

CoS 2019-20: Theron, the Albino Dusk Elf

Note This miniature that painted and given away in the summer of 2020. This post stayed on my draft-stash since.

This elven ranger, I painted as gift for my friend Billy for his character, Theron who played through our Curse Of Strahd campaign. He was the machine gun

Throughout the campaign, he faced the "racist" comments of the local population who called him "albino dusk elf", which made us all laugh because he'd say "I'm not albino, I have black hair!"

Theron survived both Curse of Strahd and its sequel, Curse of Strahd II (written by yours truly)

[Legend of the Five Rings] Three Samurai warriors

Three samurai I painted with Legend of the Five color schemes. These are guys that stayed on my painting table "forever". I decided to finish them once I decided on a color scheme.

From left to right:

A Dragon clan bushi. I know, I know, they usually use both swords of their daisho, so he could also work as a mantis warrior - even tho most of them use peasant weapons.

A Lion clan bushi. This one can be a Matsu or an Akodo-school warrior. I know, I know, Matsu warriors are mostly women.

A Crane clan bushi. From the Daidoji Iron Warriors school as they will often use spears and other polearms. I really dig the bunny ears and the fur on the armor. I know, I know, Rokugan samurai do not wear fur.

Olympia: Cyclops miniature

As I ramp up the work on Olympia - FOE's Greek setting - I am starting to paint up more miniatures to use in these games.

This guy is a Reaper Bones cyclops. I enjoy the dynamism of the pose. This guy will see many uses on the tabletop.

Hunting Ogres on a Tuesday

I painted these ogres for my home group... Three are from Reaper and two are from Privateer Press.

The Fellowship Of The Ring (ish)

I happened on this lot of minis by pure accident, one of the many "cheap bids" I often do on Ebay.

It was a joy to paint them.

Sunday Funnies: NSFW How Uther took Ygraine

Okay this is borderline NSFW, but OH MY GOD, I laughed out loud like five times before this. I know so many players who would take that route as well!

JP

More Commissions for August 2011

I have a few more pictures of commissions I've done. Those were for my good friend Jeff Peters. I am particularly fond of the metal on those minis. It took like 4 or 5 different color, but it look very beat up and almost rusted. I really like the way it came out. Plus, this is the first time that I painted large numbers of big monsters all in one go and made for a unique experience.

JP

Commissions for August 2011

Been a while since I've posted anything... I've been busy doing a number of painting projects. Here are my latest work.

JP