[Kinda Review] Rings of Power... I tried

I tried to watch Rings of Power on Amazon Prime. I really did. And quite frankly... it is terrible.

The overall look and the scenery is breathtaking and fantastic. It LOOKS like the Peter Jackson movies. Good.

Now let's get to the story...

The uh story.

You know, the things that happens between the plot holes.

OOPS. I meant what you are told happens. (Cuz the coolest elements are narrated, not shown on a visual medium).

Well... Yeah, nothing of consequence really happens. The worse the character is, the better the outcome. But actually, everything is not revealed at any point, forcing you to wait to the end for some reveal that will no doubt let you wondering why you wasted all this time. Nothing feels like it builds to anything (other than a Season 2).

There is an ensemble of characters, I could not tell you most of their names because they are wallflowers and decorations. Everything they try to do leads to something pointless that is immediately addressed without a later payout. In the end, you recognize the character, but their name is not important. "hobbit girl," "fat hobbit girl," "black elf guy," "Scottish dwarf," "not-Elrond," "black dwarf wife," "rogue-like-guy-from-the-boat" etc...

The one exception is Galadriel who walks around with that strange "no expression" movies love to give tough women. It's that same face you see throughout Marvel movies (if you saw Captain Marvel, that's the face). There are two looks: either a scowl of contempt at everyone around them and the shocked/confused but disgusted look.

For a famed centuries-old commander, she doesn't give two craps about her troops. She scowls at them in disdain and disgust. For troops who followed her for centuries (as we are told, not shown), you would expect her to have respect for them. To at least consider their opinion rather than be faced with mutiny before going back.

Well.. seeing how she kills the troll by herself while her troops just look around like 1st-level sidekicks... She may have a point. But I cannot accept that centuries-old elves be that useless. Not in Tolkien. Maybe your 1st-level D&D character... but not Noldor elves.

The actress' (I can't be arsed to look for her name) performance is made even worse because of the contrast with the stellar performance given by Cate Blanchett in the original. Her portrayal was great as she comes across as someone of great power but still have emotions and feelings, almost vulnerable. Particularly after she is offered the One Ring. Cate wasn't scowling in disgust of the hobbits and humans.

Then she fails in her task but everyone gives her accolades... That is addressed when you learned the elf king wants to get rid of her later: "Yeah there is a shadow, but I don't want to rock the boat" kinda bull-crap.

That's not how you create a lovable, interesteing character. The character must grow, learn from its mistakes and either succomb or overcome its flaws. Sometimes they are sad, sometimes they are happy. Triumphs and failures. Mistakes and learning.

Comparing Galadriel's performance with that of "Hobbit girl" is night and day. The protagonist of the story scowls in disdain while the halfling goes through various emotions that gives us insight into her character. I really her portrayal in the scene where she finds a worg track: her expression changes from carefree to worried and she takes charges of the young ones. I remember when I was watching going, "Oooh, that won't end well for the Hobbits"

Then nothing happened after we saw the worg on a nearby hilltop. It doesn't attack the hobbits, because they fled too quickly.

All of this. All my issues are things that could EASILY have been addressed, but as it is modern TV, that's not something we are going to talk about/deal with. Galadriel is better than everyone and everyone knows it because she is just that good! There are some flashes of potential but the door is quickly closed again or the threat is made quickly irrelevant. The snow troll. The worg. The orc mine. The sea serpent. The Numenor prison. No build-up for no payoff. The monsters appear, are defeated or cause a problem then are gone/ killed/ defeated.

After three episodes, I just had to give up. I have better things to do with my time. Like watching reruns of Family Feud or wondering what my dogs are barking at. It is just awful. Nothing of consequence happens.

Rating? The beauty of the sceneries and sets cannot offset the abysmal nothing happening or how unlikeable most characters are. So I can easily put this in the 1/5 and turn the TV back to Family Feud.

Read my more contrite review on Amazon.