JP On Gaming

Monday, January 6, 2020

[Review] Spoilerless Review of Rise of Starwalker

Where to start? The Force Awaken was "fine" in that it set up things so I was willing to give it a pass. I really hated The Last Jedi: it just destroyed every story threads without setup anything to follow. So I went into this one with expectations so low.

How low? You ask. Well let me give you an exchange I had with the kids about going to see it.

JP Hey kids, let's go see a movie.
Kids Yay!
JP So... Star Wars or 1917?
Kids 1917! 1917!
JP finds out there is no showing in Nashville area.
JP It's not playing.
Kids (Disappointed Groan) Ah okay... Star Wars then.

So those were the expectations. Star Wars is no longer the first-day event it once was. I remember when Phantom Menace came out in 1999 and I was ready to sell my future children to see it day one. Which I did showing up 15 mins ahead of time...

Well... A few things

- Very fast pace. Very fast.
- Lando is a highlight. He's a pretty cool character and Billy Dee Williams' charisma overshadows the other, blander characters.
- This feels like a proper sequel to The Force Awakens
- Wasted potential on many of the non-Rey characters
- Many times I found my eyes rolling in my head so much that I would (thankfully) loose 10-15 seconds of movie.
- The kids loved and agreed when I referred to Rey as "Super-Jesus-Girl". She is beyond Mary Sue. She can beat Chuck Norris with one frown.
- Space battles never gave me the impression the outcome was in doubt.
- The lightsaber battles did not feel as meaningful as those from the original and prequel. The background was more exciting than the action.

So... What did I think of it? My review can best be summed by the following sentence: "It did not suck as much as I thought it would". There are some moments I enjoyed (typically when Rey is not there) but overall, it's a suck. Thinking back to the prequel, in spite of their many issues, they now look like great movies.

I will put this down as a 2/5.

Wow... Wow... How could I ever write this about Star Wars. 2/5! Jeez... I will give the final word to ActionMan who said: "There are six Star Wars movie... Oh and Rogue One... Rogue One was okay too..."

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